Which makes you get all judgey with yourself because you’ve come so far. Isn’t this over with yet? (Yes, almost.)ĭeparting pain tends to catch you off guard.

What the hell?! Didn’t you work through this already? You were doing so well and then you want to curl up in a ball or break something. You’re feeling so free, so present, so moved on and then…WHAM. You’ve felt that pain (you’re amazing and courageous). But it’s good.) Let’s say you’ve done the work. One more time: Feel it to free it.Īre you ready? (Get ready because it’s going to hurt more. Let me put that differently: Once you’ve gone down with the pain, examined it, smelled it, talked to it, squeezed it, then it’s done its job and it’s ready to fully transform. Let me say that another way: The pain starts to lift after you’ve gone through it. It’s what we’re managing to varying degrees of stifling darkness to occasionally triggered sadness.ĭeparting pain comes after you’ve fully felt the current pain. It requires tears and therapeutic conversations, pilgrimages and fires. This pain is leaving me.ĭo you need more healing time? Current pain needs time - a few weeks… a few decades, such is life. Departing pain says: I’ve learned all I can from this pain. Current pain says: I’m dealing with the pain. So here’s what to do when you’re in pain: Identify if you’re in Current Pain or Departing Pain. Where did that come from? And it’s … extra painful.” Just when you thought you’d purged it all, your body lurches with one more hurl to make sure the toxins are good an’ gone. It’s like the last few heaves of getting poison out of your system.

In fact, on its way out, departing pain can be wretched. “Except… departing pain isn’t any lighter or easier as it leaves your system. And Lord have mercy, this is just what you want to have happen - for the pain to leave you. It’s your current pain transforming, loosening, lifting. Lingering or acute, if it’s affecting you now - if you’re still healing, it’s real time pain.ĭeparting pain is, as it suggests, on its way out. It doesn’t matter when the pain was inflicted - a few days ago in a meeting, or ongoingly in the way your partner withholds, or by a past childhood trauma. And there is the pain you feel when it’s ready to be released.Ĭurrent pain is the hurt you’re carrying with you today. There is the pain you feel because it’s deep in your being, in real time, working on you.

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